My oldest had a dentist appointment...where one goes, the rest will follow. The boys and I stayed in the waiting room while she got her cleaning and exam. Thankfully, the room was empty, so I let them run around and play (without damaging anything). When we first got there, I had to update her medical history, etc. So while I am filling the forms out, my 3yo asks to look at the Spiderman magazine he sees on the rack. I glance at it and hand it to him (with pen still moving on the paper). A couple minutes later, he comes over and shows me the magazine, telling me Spidey has a funny butt (a common discussion point these days)...then asks 'what is coming out of Spiderman's butt?' Even after looking at it for a minute, I didn't notice this until he asked. I simply replied they were spiderwebs and we should find another magazine. It was a Mad Magazine...and sure enough his webs were shotting out of his bum. I distracted him with a Highlights instead..that seemed to work. I can't imagine what the receptionist thought of our conversation.
Then we spent the rest of the 30 mins counting the beautifully mouthed people on the walls (how many boys, girls, adults, children), army-crawling under the coffeetable, looking at brochures for teeth whitening, going to the potty a couple times, selecting the perfect sticker. Note that nothing I had brought in the diaper bag remotely entertained them.